19 Sep

As I discussed in an earlier post, I was attacked for my use of my brothers name and picture when sharing about his diagnosis on my blog. Confidentiality is a hot topic for parents, and people on the spectrum. And by “hot topic” I mean scorching, blazing, on fire!

Here’s the breakdown of what I have gathered from both sides of the coin (click to enlarge):

As for me, it’s not that I don’t see the benefits of keeping things confidential; I do. And it’s not that I completely agree with everything Pro-Openness people think or do;  I don’t. But, I obviously lean to the Pro-Openness side. So after the heat I took for it from people on Tumblr, I reached out to a woman who writes a weekly column (for a big newspaper) about her experiences with an autistic son. She has faced backlash for publishing his photo along with her articles a few times, so I knew she would have some words of wisdom on the topic. She wrote me back right away, and gave kind words of encouragement. One theme in her response was that she has come to accept that she will not please everyone, and she doesn’t strive to.

It’s true. Anything that anyone says/writes/does  is up for debate. But, just because that’s the case does not mean I need to change my story, or the delivery of my story, to fit other people’s molds.

In the end, I think each person has the right to make their own decisions about confidentiality. So, if my stance doesn’t align with yours, I hope you’re able to refrain from judgment, ridicule, or condemnation. And, if your stance doesn’t align with mine, I promise to do the same.

5 Responses to “Confidentiality”

  1. dogfordavid September 20, 2012 at 4:41 am #

    Thanks for sharing this post. 🙂 I am more “pro-openess” too but mainly for the mission of helping spread better understanding, awareness, and compassion amongst whomever I have the priviledge to reach.

    I want people that don’t live this life, or know this diagnosis, to understand there is still a person in there. That behind every label, diagnosis, disability, etc. (no matter what those may be) is a living, breathing, FEELING human being.

    I guess I’m trying to be a voice that helps break through the stigma that so often surrounds people like my son and others.

    Thanks for being open and honest here. 🙂 I always appreciate these kinds of blogs the best. A lot of my inspiration and encouragement come from them. Both for life with my son as well as for pushing ever forward in my attempts to help him in any way I can. : )

  2. angelina258 September 20, 2012 at 5:25 pm #

    Thanks so much for your reply! I really admire your conviction about spreading awareness and compassion…such important things!

  3. Adam September 21, 2012 at 10:38 pm #

    Such a well written blog.

  4. ignitethepowerinme September 22, 2012 at 6:33 pm #

    Reblogged this on IGNITE and commented:
    Thank you…..

  5. Cecile October 3, 2012 at 9:12 am #

    I can see the pro’s of openness. But I feel very uncomfortable talking about my son and his diagnosis without his consent. I have not asked yet, but am quite sure he would not like me to write about him. Makes it hard for me, I’d like to share my experience of raising a child with Aspergers, but I have to respect him too!

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