Tag Archives: independence

Dreams with plans

2 Apr

I’ve taken a huge break from blogging as I’ve been adjusting to life as a new mom. My sweet girl is 8 months old now and today, World Autism Awareness Day, seemed like a perfect reason to jump back into The Autism Onion.

 

This year I am more aware than ever of the need for on-going intervention. Autism is life-long so behavior based strategies must be, also.

By nature, we do what works. Rarely do people spontaneously decide to make huge changes in their behavior if what they’re doing gets the results they want. Short of some spiritual awakening, most people don’t just up-and-change the way they have always lived. Similarly, our kiddos with autism are not just suddenly one day going to start taking care of themselves and having conversations with people and making meaningful relationships. These things must be taught. These things must be purposefully targeted and cultivated.

It kills me when families have grandiose daydreams for their special needs loved ones with absolutely no plan of how to get him or her there. “Oh I want him to get married someday!” “I want her to have a job someday!” “He will live independently as an adult!”  My question is simple: How? How are you going to get your child from A to Z? Parents can sometimes get caught up in the utopia without dealing with reality. The devil is in the details, my friend. You cannot project an idealistic lifestyle for your child without taking all the steps to get there. No one magically goes from A to Z. You have to go from A to B, then to C, then to D. And eventually if you work hard enough maybe your child will reach that Z you’ve always dreamed of.

Yes, this year I’m aware of the hollow fantasies families hold for their special needs children without any real plan of how to get them there. On-going intervention is KEY! Pushing them out of their comfort zones is key! Moving them beyond their own universes into the world of others; the world of rules and order and of social norms. (And before people start bashing me for being a “neurotypical” who “hates autistic people” let me just say: for ANYONE to succeed they have to move beyond their comfort zone, work hard to promote growth and change, and do things they don’t necessarily want to do.)

This year I’m aware that we need to offer life-long support to our children and families affected by autism. Autism will not go away or magically “get better”. We must implement appropriate strategies everysingleday to help our kids get where we want them to go. It’s hard work, that’s for sure. But it’s worth it… Is it not?

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